Excuse me, are you a good driver?
There was a popular saying some years ago: I am in charge of my youth. The meaning is: While you are young, do what you want to do, decide your future direction and find your happiness. Before I came to the Lord, I was like that. No one could tell me anything, parents included. I grabbed opportunities so that I could be different from others. After college, I started work early to make money. Once, I also decided to take advantage of the China boom opportunity. I chose to promise my wife lots before I was established.
With this kind of character, I was full of self-confidence. I decided on my own and dared to do things and take the responsibility that came with it. I was an adventurer. I would go on trips by myself and cover 5 provinces, 10 cities in 2 days. I could take any hardship. In 2007, when I was 24, my income was in 6 figures, US currency. In 2009, I got married… All these things gave me a sense of great accomplishment, even to the point I exclaimed, “So glad that I didn’t listen to my parents!”
The following years were not that fortunate. The economic depression tumbled my business into a very difficult situation. Several important decisions ended in failure. Moreover, since I squandered in order to maintain the lifestyle, my wife and I had to live in two different places separately. I was crushed by the triple pressure of finance, marriage and parents. I was still dreaming that with my abilities and perseverance, I could ride over them. Trouble followed me like my shadow. I started to worry, complain, fight with my parents; but that worsened my emotions and brought more problems. Yet I still declared that “I will stay the course and depend on my own because this is the path I chose.”
On March12, 2012, my auntie and Lily Ma invited me to a music program by Chinese Christian Herald Crusade. I had never been to church. Always a suspicious person, I promised without hesitation. (It probably shocked them.) There I heard a Bible verse that left me with a very deep impression:
Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?"
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. (John 14:5-6)
Suddenly it dawned on me that the way I had chosen was up to my personal liking. So often I did not know which way to choose and caused my family a lot of problems. So, in the future, where should I lead my family members? So that night, I decided to follow this authoritative Lord Jesus Christ.
If life can be compared to driving, I am a bad driver. I am selfish, rebellious, anger easily, changes a lot, proud, dishonest, squanders money, disrespectful of my parents and never humble... My sins are legend and boils all over. After I believed in the Lord, my priority change was to acknowledge my sins toward God, my parents and my wife. I also genuinely repented. I sincerely turned my car key to my God and firmly believe that He will take us to the place of peace and joy.
Besides, when I thought that ‘I can be the boss of my life”, I put myself in the center of the world. The focus was on me. I no longer cared about others and certainly I didn’t love others. Others will probably not help me. II Timothy 3:1-2 tells us “But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self...” I have learned through prayer and intercession to take time through the web to connect with some lost friends and join in the care ministry to experience the grace God has given everybody.
If you do not have the Lord in your life and also regard yourself as the “driver”, are you willing to open your heart, confess your sins to Him and invite Christ into your heart?